Chessed Begins at Home and in the Home

      Chessed is about giving of oneself and thinking of someone else. To think outside of your own Self. It is life at the crux of living. Chessed – acts of kindness. Be kind to yourself as well as to those around you. Be polite and greet each person with a smile.  “Hello” and “Goodbye”; “please” and “thank you” and “you’re welcome”; “excuse me” and “I’m sorry” – all are expressions that go a long way in daily interactions with people in the home , work , and the people you might meet on the street.     But chessed begins at home and in the home. It is part of our early childhood lessons. We learned from the way our parents related to each other. And we integrated these lessons to who we have become. If a parent showed gratitude to the other we learned to appreciate what our parents provided for us. And we also learned to recognize Hashem’s involvement in creating the world we live in. Hashem provides for us and our parents do too. And the cycle continues as we provide for others. We provide more than the physical if we remember that it is important in the how we do it – attitude.      However chessed must begin with one’s own family first. Spouse and children and animals take first priority over anything outside the home. Although it is very admirable to do chessed outside the home (and get a break from the children), if one does is away from home doing chessed too much, others in the family may resent it and the thought of anything chessed. Family comes first in chessed. First,-chessed to and within the family; and then one can branch out to and for the neighbors and community.     With all this said, there is the flip-side to the equation of chessed. And I base my theories and outlook on articles I read many years ago in the English Modia and English Yeted Neeman newspapers –just because a person can help (owns a car) does not mean they have the time to drop everything they are doing to accommodate your immediate needs. There are always other factors to the equation to consider. Timing – when you ask and what is going on in the life of the other person, as well as to “judge favorably” for we do not know all the story if/when someone says no to our request of what we decide should be their chessed to/for us.       Chessed, as with volunteerism, can give one a feeling of satisfaction and altruism and even a sense of belonging. Research has proven that people who give of their time are less likely to become depressed and lived longer than their contemporaries. I guess kit is a CHESSED to one’s self to be involved with chessed.