The Chessed of Being Me and My Friends Who Are Family

         I live alone. And from time to time I get lonely. Yet I find myself every now and then actually cherishing my alone-time. The solitude of being alone is not loneliness. I didn’t always like to be alone because I am a people-person and like the interaction.

          I have a daughter who is now an adult. She does not live with me. She actually left home in her teens to attend a boarding school. Then we had an irrevocable argument (my fault) and she refused to return home for quite an extended period of time. Then I was alone and utterly lonely.

          I was depressed and devastated at how my life had changed from being a mother to no-one. I felt like a nothing. I couldn’t function as a person if I was not my daughter’s mother.

          And yet I was a person of value no matter what my “title”. This concept took me a long time to incorporate into my emotional make-up. But I did ,with the chessed of my many friends who invited me to their homes as one of the family no matter what my status or description. First and foremost, I am a creation of Hashem. I am just as deserving of the chessed of loving kindness and caring as any one of the children of my many friends.

          Even more so, is this chessed that began as only a friendship has blossomed over the years into an atmosphere of one-of-the-family. Not out of pity but rather as genuine caring and love.

          In my mind (and in my heart), certain families in my hometown are at the head of this list. I jest at the reality that I eat “leftovers” but the truth be told, I do a chessed for my friends by taking some of their “leftovers” from Shabbat. I don’t have to always cook – a saving on my limited budget and the potchkie in the kitchen. But even more so is the fact that a family of eight can eat their” leftovers” from Shabbat on Sunday evening nevertheless there is the question to be answered, “what about what is left over after that meal that has maybe only two portions, if at all?” Mikimi to the rescue. Usually it is just enough for me for 2-3 meals. And the little pekelas of Shabbat desserts or from birthday cakes that some of these families put aside just for me.

          These incidents are not every week so as not to feel overwhelmed or burden on either side but they are frequent enough that I feel the good fortune in being alive and accepted as apart of someone’s life. Both parties benefit. Additionally I thrive on the interaction and camaraderie with their children.

          One family I visit regularly for a coffee- or more lately, a Chico drink, shares with me peanut butter cookies they know I so enjoy. A while back I decided to buy them a present I knew they could use – a “sandwich maker”, primarily for grilled cheese. The model I bought also included metal grates make waffles. Now we have another “family pastime”. Waffles with maple syrup.

           A different family I have been privileged to be the metapelet for their youngest child and two of their grandchildren (of different married children). I joke about “the metapelet who stays in the family”. And even though I am not the metapelet for them any more, they and I continue to get-together every few weeks.

         And although I may live alone, I am never totally alone for Hashem; the Father of all Chessed is always with me.